Stillness and a quiet mind have always eluded me. They are merely novelties that are for other people who are more “chill.” I wear my Type A badge proudly, and thus found no room for mediation in my life. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” is the mantra that kept me going throughout college. You get the idea. Fast forward to my present path of owning a business. Being a business owner often means sleepless nights and packed days. I’ve faced burnout a few times in my career, and at the beginning of last year I was deep in overwhelm grasping at anything that might bring me peace or at least a momentary break from crippling stress and anxiety. Enter meditation.
I was desperate enough to try anything. My list making was spiraling out of control and my sleep was often interrupted by dreams that were so intense, I was more exhausted when I woke up. So, I downloaded an app, found a fluffy pillow and decided to meditate. The first few sessions were only 10 minutes. I spent those first few weeks reciting my lists over and over and wriggling around on my pillow wishing that I could do anything other than sit in stillness with my thoughts. In fit of frustration, I decided to throw out my meditation rule book. Instead of sitting on a pillow, I laid down on my floor in a shavasana. I turned on my app, and in a blink the session was over. Since then, my meditation journey has been rocky at best. I’ve learned that stillness is just as important as work and that success doesn’t necessarily look like what you expect. I also learned that you don’t have to be “chill” to be the kind of person who meditates. It also doesn’t have to look a certain way.I still think about my lists when I meditate sometimes, and I don’t always get to the place I want to go. What is most important is that I never regret taking 10 minutes out of my day to sit in stillness and listen to what is has to say.
I encourage you to find strength in your stillness this week.